FOR BETTER, FOR WORSE...

I MISS MY BRUDER.

I really do. Hard to believe. I'm missing my Bruder, terribly, uncontrollably! How unlike me! I mean, I do miss people, all the time, but my Bruder of all the people in the world? Unbelievable.

Sigh.

My Bruder's wedding yesterday was one of the nicest things I've ever witnessed. Seriously. Primarily because, all these days I was thinking my Bruder hates me and I hate him back with a vengeance, but yesterday I realized differently. He loves me like any normal brother loves his sister - not that my Bruder is a normal guy, lol. I was with him all day, and even cried quite stupidly when the groom and bride exchanged vows.

I find the vows at Christian wedding ceremonies extremely romantic. One reason I like them - they are in English and I can understand them perfectly. My favorite part is - "... for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; to hold, cherish and protect till death us do part." God, every assurance I would want from my husband!

Lol, he sounded really nervous and was really nervous, and his voice managed to sound mild and shaky and everything imaginably horrible - but still, no one could miss the conviction and all the love. And when my Bruder and Sister-in-law were pronounced man and wife, the love shining in their eyes and the sweet smile of pure joy on their faces were enough to draw tears of joy from my eyes!

I got them both a small brown teddy bear. I didn't know what else to get for them. I've never been to weddings alone, and my parents have always bought all the gifts. I had to buy something for my Bruder and so I ended up getting him the cutest teddy bear that my money could buy. Well, I did think of getting him a towel-hanger or something else similarly useful, but then I couldn't bring myself to ignore that little teddy looking at me beseechingly. Lol, okay, I was drawn to that teddy, call me weird, call me kiddish!

I really loved the moment when my Sister-in-law hugged me and said, "You've made this wedding happen, Neeru!" I was so touched. There was nothing I did for that wedding to happen, and as you all must already be knowing, it's plain, unadulterated exaggeration. But then, I couldn't help feeling as if I've moved mountains and earned her praise. I like her a lot, because she's a nice, warm woman, very friendly, and she is kind of bent on getting me to trust her. But these aren't the only reasons, I think I like her a lot primarily because she turned out to be my Bruder's favorite woman! :)

We have planned to go shopping, to movies and anywhere possible together. And my Bruder has promised to take me to his home in the weekends. I'm really looking forward to spend some time with them both. Not now, of course, I'll let them wallow in matrimonial bliss for a few days first!

Weddings are nice, but most people concentrate too much on the linking of religions, status and money where the linking of hearts is to reign supreme. Sad, but true.

I felt like a diplomat. Really. When you are at a wedding, and alone, you are bound to be a constant target for people with lots of probing questions to ask. And one wrong word slipping out of your mouth and you successfully make all the festivity for miles around you to disappear, even before you blink once. I felt like a diplomat, whose tiny mistakes can create a war between two countries - in this case, two families. Especially, a wedding with lots of complexity involved - in terms of misunderstandings galore already - needs loads of careful tightrope walking, believe me. And I was so tired when I managed to free myself from all those inquisitive people, their mouths quizzing me nonstop, their eyes penetrating me with all their doubts and suspicions.

I'm still tired, by the time I reached home yesternight it was 11.30 PM, I hadn't prepared for today's assessment, I've caught a cold... But still, I'm happy.

There have been times when I've felt like I hate my Bruder wholeheartedly, and I've felt like cursing him, insulting him... And he hasn't been an angel too. But yesterday, I was ready to give up anything(even my computer) to take him with me back home. Complex, but true. You never know how much you love someone unless they move away from you. But moving away can't be stopped - it is the essence of life. That's the way of life. You can't keep loving and living with the same people all the time, trust me. My Bruder isn't leaving us totally, he is going to be somewhere within the city at least for the next few months and for that, I'm grateful.

I'm sad that my Bruder can't stay with us and will have to move to this house so far away from ours, but I'm also glad that he has finally made a solid decision for himself, and he has got his perfect match to lead his life with, to share all his joys and sorrows with, for better, for worse. 

(For those of you wondering where my novel's first chapter is, I just happened to re-read it, and I found it fit to get "promoted" to the dustbin.)