PHEW...

Tiring. Really.
College life sucks. We are having working Saturdays and study-holiday-Sundays. Sad.
I hate assessments. And I hate professors and lecturers who talk nonstop only about the subject concerned.
Gee, life isn't just Cartography, Photogrammetry, etc, after all! (In case you're wondering what those are, they are the subjects I study in my college.)
My mind is like a Pendulum. One minute, I think about something, the next minute, about another extreme, but I get back to the old thought. Sigh, tiring.
I'm going to turn nineteen next week. Jeez, nineteen years of useless living. How horrible that sounds! But I've made good friends, I've learnt loads of stuff and I'm ready to bet that there are a lot of changes in me in this one year. That way, turning nineteen does sound flattering.
Nineteen is the last teenage year in my life. (In anyone's life, for that matter.)
Wish I'd enjoyed my teenage more. Wish I'd partied more. Wish I'd learnt more. Wish I'd accomplished more. Wish I'd DONE more.
Now, turning nineteen makes me feel nothing but older. When I look back, I see nineteen empty years. Miserable.
School First, School First in Maths, English andTamil in Tenth grade.
I've got one novel published, in Tamil. Many people don't manage that by the time they turn nineteen. Not bad.
What else? Any other accomplishments?
Nope.
Prizes, Awards, something to talk volumes about me, after me?
Nope.
Sheesh. And I'm going to turn NINETEEN next week! And I've done absolutely nothing to boast of. I've got absolutely nothing to boast of. And I'm still single as well.
Pathetic.
Turning nineteen sounds like one of the worst things to have ever happened in my life. Makes me climb up the age ladder, but I'm still on the lowest rung of the achievements ladder!
Eighteen sounded so good. I thought I could vote, I could drive, I could even get married.
And learning to drive and getting married are major, big-time achievements.
Very sad.
This is beginning to sound more and more pathetic by the minute.
And after nineteen I'll turn TWENTY. Sheesh. That's not even old, that's ancient.
And then TWENTY-ONE, TWENTY-TWO...
Sigh.
So many useless years to follow?
NO.
I'll put an end to it! I will, I will, I WILL!
No, I'm not going to die, silly.
I'm going to stop leading a useless life.
I'm going to get more novels published.
I'm going to study harder. I'm going to have an aim.
Sounds unbelievable to even my own ears. But I'm going to do it.
I'm going to stop eating chocolate chip cookies all the time. Maybe once in a while, but not all the time.
I'm going to stop getting fatter and fatter.
I'm going to stop bunking classes in college. Attendance is at an all-time low already.
I'm going to stop going online everyday and wasting all my time over the Internet. I can study instead.
I'm going to stop reading s...o many romance novels a month. Maybe I'll read self-improvement books. More useful books. College books.
I'm going to stop...
Wait a minute.
I'm going to stop stopping everything! Jeez, I'm going to turn only nineteen! Nineteen, for god's sake. Not hundred. Or two hundred.
If I don't eat chocolate chip cookies now, if I don't bunk classes now, if I don't go online now, if I don't read romance novels now...
When the hell am I going to do all these? When I'm ancient?
Sheesh.
I was trying to travel through the wrongest path in life.
No way, I'm going to do everything I'm doing now. I'm going to enjoy.
After all, this is the last teenage year of my life.
Sigh, talk about useless resolutions. For that matter, a useless life...