I TURNED AWAY FIRST

You're miles away one moment,
Unreachable, unapproachable, lost to me.
The next, you're right beside me,
Like that's where you really want to be.

You're there even before I realize
That you're everything I need.
I know you care for me deeply,
Yet you don't mind watching me bleed.

You know you don't need me,
Yet you never make a move to leave.
You're a bundle of contradictions -
Knowingly so, I sincerely believe.

You say kismet conspires endlessly
When she smiles, touches for mere seconds.
We spend hours together, laughing, talking,
It's not kismet, it's not a mere coincidence.

Our eyes met today, did you even notice?
A moment when no words were required.
I turned away first, hoping you wouldn't see,
My heart beating there, weary, hurt, tired.